Realistic Expectations for the Collaborative Divorce Process
What Collaborative Divorce is:
- Non-adversarial dispute resolution
- Interest-based negotiation (focus on “why”)
- Hard work, for clients, attorneys, and team
- Efficient use of client resources and professional expertise
- Clients learn problem-solving skills and may include a plan for resolution of future disputes
- Moves at the pace of the slowest-moving client
- Neutrals’ offline processes may be different (MHPs are more likely to complete a parenting plan offline; FPs are more likely to gather information and begin option development offline)
- A divorce
- A process that allows parents to have equal input into the resolution
- A foundation for a healthy co-parenting relationship
What Collaborative Divorce is not:
- Conflict-free dispute resolution
- Positional bargaining (focus on “what”)
- The “easy way out”
- Inexpensive – attorneys and neutrals must be paid
- Magic – problems and conflicts may still occur in the future
- Faster than going to court
- Same process for all offline meetings (clients may not have an equal number of meetings with each neutral)
- Rainbows and sunshine
- A way to manipulate the outcome for selfish motives
- A perfect co-parenting relationship